One Two Three

Monday, September 15, 2008

13/14 sept

both days were such freakingly disgusting
that i almost went back to the days whr i will hurt myself when im down
but i promised that i wont. and i didnt want to because of some stupid quarrel and someone who wouldnt understand me

tell me.
how does travelling over my place means doing smth for me and meaning that u love me more?
seriously.
it doesnt matter anymore
at least i know to you what is more important
you're selfish
i cant deny so am i
but at least i think of the other party
YOU DONT
you like to count how much we do for each other to determine how much we love each other
i cant deny the fact that doing things for each other are part of the relationship
but why compare how much each other have done?
its not like i'm not doing anything for you.
and its just that u have more time than me
thats why u are able to come over to my place more often
WTH
cant u just understand
but as i said
it doesnt matters
so why m i continuing this?
im not.

well.
jon is leaving for army on mon =(
although i dont say much.
i know it'll be weird without him arnd the hse
i'll miss u bro
i will

and i got my parents n bro worried after dinner
i got off the car
and walk away from them
and i went into the carpark staircase and stayed there
mum knew smth was wrong so she stop dad from calling me from where they are
and when they reach home they realised i wasnt there
so dad called me
i cld sense they were all so worried
i just needed time to be alone
im sorry for making your so worried
but i just cannot control
do u know how saddening it is?
maybe it doesnt matters to u
but it does to me
mum came to look for me and she came to the staircase to sit with me
what a great mum i have
and when i didnt feel like gg back
and i was thirsty
she accompanied me to the nearest 7-11
and she bought me a drink
=]]]]]
i love my family
and when me n mum open the gate
dad was alrdy at the door
waiting for us
he gave me such a long n tight hug
i felt so sorry for letting them be so worried about me
n jon was behind dad
checking whether i was alright
awww
THEOs are the greatest people u can ever find
haha

mum said quite alot that made me realise
if u cant do it for me
too bad
even for the things we've done
i dont care
i wldnt want anyone to bully me or whatever
i need someone to dote on me. spare a thought for me and love me more than anyone wld. blah
and its stupid to cry over guys
i hate myself for being so emotional
haha
i got nth else to say =/
and this post is quite a mess
well its for me to know and rmb what happen
not u or anyone

-ryl