youmeltmyhearttostone

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I've told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means
(I'm not okay)
To be a joke and look, another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took
You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed

I'm okay
I'm okay!
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)

But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm okay!
(Trust Me)

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-fucking-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)

im back to this mood again
when i felt like ripping my heart out
and ask whats happening to me

im so disappointed
and i feel so awful
even she can tell something is wrong
i dont know how
maybe through him?
but he himself cant even tell
not at all

the only times when i do not have to cry myself to slp
was whens hes arnd
or when something cheered me up

i was thinking after the 18th all will be better
i wouldnt rely on him that much
but the days seemed to last even longer than usual
its so hard to even move on
i just feel so tired
helpless

littlest things cheered me up during this period
a msg, a note, just a lil bit of encouragement
could make my day, and
save my sorry butt from hurting even more

but there were more unhappy stuffs than good ones
i just need something to hold on
just a knock and i would break into pieces
just a push and i'll fall apart

i cant see or feel the things arnd me
none seem to be as impt
as impt to..
nothing and everything else

i just feel so tired
when can i just rest
i need a break
to be oblivious of the surroundings
and finally do what i want to

im drowning,
in the tears ive shed

im falling
into the pit ive created

im stepping
into the tomb ive dug

im disappearing
to wherever you want me to

i cant believe im gna go through another year of this

failure is nth
but gg thru all this shit
and all this mental turmoil
is way disgusting than anything

-ryl