youmeltmyhearttostone

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Monday, February 16, 2009

sigh.
today has been one of the worst day of teaching

teaching is another mental torture on me
the last that i need right now

i swear if the students irritates me again
i would go crazy

LOL
it is that bad

so today, i got so angry after trying so many many methods
in the end, i vent my anger by throwing things =x

and the principal saw it
so it was like WTH

i sorta like threw his file out of the class
actually i dont see whats wrong for me to do that

since im a teacher now
i have my own ways of teaching

i dont see why i cant use my methods
nobody guided me or taught me how i shd deal with them anyway

SHEEEESSSHHHH
and that was the sec 1 class

so imagine sec 2
even worst right?

you got it. they are.
yea so i flare up again

sigh. and i totally scold a boy from my previous sec 3 class
not out of no reason definitely

but because he came to class and disturb those who were punished outside
he does deserve it right? does he?

and i scolded till he was like dumbfounded
in the end he cld only give me a killer stare when i ask him to leave

i wish they cld just listen to me
is it that hard?

why cant yr settle for the nice and smiling teacher
instead of the one yelling at the top of her lungs

and i get so pissed off easily lately
at whatever things

im kinda disappointed in myself
i thought ive changed

i wasnt what i am before alrdy
and yet, there are certain times i would fall right back into it

i feel like just talking to someone about it
and yet i dont feel like saying it (i know i dont make sense, but nvm)

i know theres a handful that would listen and help me out
but still, i feel since the solution to the problem is myself

i shouldn't really bother them
sigh

='(
im just glad i have people who can make me smile

-ryl