JW says aussie will have a cyclone soon :( i hope it doesn't affect baby's area!! hope he'll be safe always! phew!! it's only in melbourne not perth ar. according to that JW. hope she's reliable!

today was a sad sad day :( had to fight back the tears like crazy and in the end i still can't control, as usual. lousy. but at least i tried to control if not i'll just be tearing non-stop the whole time in the airport.

thanks rachel and cheryl lian for comforting me! :D having someone leaving you isn't an easy task. thank goodness they were there. and their uncle+aunt was soooo nice to wait with me cos i was alone waiting for daddy and mummy to come! so touched!

i'm gna be a really good girl and continue trying for us! gna go source for some recipe for baby dear soon and i can't wait for him to get his internet connection and phone line so that we can communicate. i don't know how long i can last but i'll fight on till my very last breath!

sigh, after talking to JW, can i take back my words? i'll probably just cry myself to sleep almost every night. shit the fighting. i seriously will die.

he's gna make new friends there, and they will be the one that he can rely on there, not me.
he's gna go explore the new places with his friends, have all his fun while i'm stuck here waiting for him to be back.
he's gna have his own life there soon and i'll have mine. separate lives. something that i seriously hate the most.
tell me how i'm gna survive.
unless he don't. which is a very low possibility
i'm that selfish. i can't accept that somebody else is gna be there for him and it's not me.

LIFE IS UNFAIR.
tell me about it.